Witches’ costumes resemble those of medieval beer-makers! BURN THEM!!!

With a typical ghastly Halloween fast approaching, undoubtedly many of our noble listeners are contemplating getting plastered in a public house and acting like a ergot-possessed French villager of the 16th century.  Oh sure, when you were a youngster, this was not your wont.  Rather you’d dress up as a witch or a pirate, or as Sonic the Hedgehog (pbuh), and you’d walk about the streets threatening the neighbors to give you raisins, apples, and other wholesome things…. or else…

But when you got older, you stopped doing that and just used Halloween as yet another excuse to get plastered in a public house, though you might still dress up as a witch when you do this.  Some people do anyway.

Well, a historian reveals an astounding coincidence that somehow ties your modern slip into alcoholism with witches and the Middle Ages!  It turns out, ya see, that our traditional image of a witch, with the tall hat and black dress is the standard costume of medieval beer makers.  They were usually women.  Usually had green skin.  Made big vats of “brew”.  It all checks out.  This article even adds that the black cat, the perennial (I hope I spelled that right) companion of the witch, was helpful in protecting the grain stocks of the beer making women of the Middle Ages.

Check the article here.  It’s actually interesting:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/halloween-witch-beermaker-1.3289646

So there you have it!  Don’t sigh for your lost youth when you dress up as a witch this Halloween and go to the Public House and turn into a blithering imbecile!  Don’t say, “I miss the days when I used to trick-or-treat.  What I do now is a corruption of what I did then.”

Rather say to yourself:  “By going and getting intoxicated in public this Halloween, I am, in fact, paying homage to the medieval women who have lent their image as the very symbol of Halloween.  I preserve a connection to the past and to history with each bottle of booze I throw down my insatiable gullet!  All hail the black witch, BLACK AS PITCH!  HA HA HA!!!”

Photo: CBC